you are not alone.....

The other day it was sankasti chaturthi, after a late night i still managed to wake up early, something kept my mind engrossed so much that i didn't realise it was morning already...I was realising that life was on a fast lane and that i might have missed the bus in few areas but it still wasn't that bad enough...so why was i so bothered about, i get into a flashback of the time when my mom passed away. Living alone for a couple of months was disturbing, its not that easy to get back from work and not to get to see the person around whom you had got so used to and loved unconditionally, i didn't now how I was going to survive, Your dear ones do call you but its just for that time and the rest of the time you are all by yourself... My life looked messed up, the only thing that drive me rather us (i am talking for my brother as well) at work and to compromise other things in life was to be able to do our best for the one we were devoted too...but now she was gone and so was the inspiration...Life was so void..

The only thing I did was kept asking myself what would have she wanted me to do...off course she wanted me to have a good life but how and where to start from...i had been living in isolation,away from social scene, friends and didnt have the luxury of time where i could develop a hobby.

2 months down, i enrolled for badminton and meet these bunch of lovely kids who really changed my life...I felt like wow I want to turn my life 5 years back again and live it to the fullest. A new promising job, good company and with no strings

attached, i certainly wanted to to go back to being 24....

Today two years down, life has been good, I have managed to achieve and perceive most of my dreams...and i am still at it...

It felt good but there were still certain exceptional areas of my life that has a lot of uncertainty and a doubt crept into my mind that will I be able to attain all that i had thought i had lost. Age and time was not in my hands but then what is within our reach ???

while i was submerged in my thoughts....i saw a small boy in front of me trying to help his handicapped friend on a wheelchair to get to the platform (well i was on my way to a colleague's place for Ganapti ans was fasting as well, i was at Sion station moving towards the exit), without a second thought I joined him to push his friend up the stairs. Though i wasn't strong enough to pull it off by myself, another passerby lend his hand and we both assisted the poor kid help his friend on wheelchair. Finally we all reached the top and without saying a word we all parted ways, it was all so quick that there were no second thoughts...

Suddenly I start feeling good about it, like i was pleased with what i did...i kept myself in the boys place and tried to relate that did he ever imagine that while he tried with all his strength and faith to help his friend that 2 strangers would just came up to them and helped them out...where we acting on gods behalf...was I one of his agents....i guess angel would be more appropriate..

Well there was a message for me in there...all these while i was feeling lonely and that there was no one
who would be watching over me, this incident made me realise that there a grace that's looking after you, you just need to push and keep the faith.

Like the boy pushing his wheelchair friend, I was pushing my dreams to reach my goals and the agents are around me to help me out...from that moment i am at peace with myself and I keep saying "Focus on your goals and keep the faith that the angels are around to give you the momentum...you are not alone!"

I like the fact that out of site is out of mind...its like I was under some kind of spell which has now broken...

I like the fact that out of site is out of mind...its like I was under some kind of spell which has now broken...

Feels like i was in a deep sleep and i just woke up to a world different from where I come. It feels good to be on your own again nobody but only yourself to watch ur back and care

I used to keep saying myself expectations from others is such a waste of time and draining and probably i am not used to asking favors and i can deal with my own vunerlabilty. If somebody mistakes your self dependance as being aarogant and insensitive, i simply cant help it but say everybody has a choice to live the life they want and i m no different and when i am not pertubed by others choices so why not give me space and let me be...


I Love myself...for the sheer fact that I have the gut to get on with life accept my follies and give myself more than one chance to raise again...my values are still in place and i havnt compromised with life. life is so good...I feel like an egale ready to shoot into the sky.....aiming as far as i could take myself...

Prem hey prem aahe...tuje anni majje same aahe....

for my baddy group
(inspired by akkis status)Prem hey prem aahe...tuje anni majje same aahe....

Prem hey prem aahe....
tuje anni majje same aahe....

(Akki) jag sagre vegla dista....
doke kahi chalat naste anni mann bhaltech vichar charat asta
"tu nahi tho koi aur sahi" asa bolaycha aste, pan jiv ticha sathi talmalat asta
Prem hey prem asta, tuje anni majha kai same asta??

(Anu anni Kkkkkau) Premala kai zati, vai kiva shabdancha bhed naste...
teyla khara kai khote kai kalat nasta...
Prema khatir nadaycha asta...
Prem hey prem asta, tuje anni majha kai, tey ekmenkan sathi asta

(Mau ani...pillu)
Prem hey "try hard till u Succeed" asta,
Bhetla var god god bolacha ani followup/ reminder aasta
Ratra, divas ek karun eka meka che assignment complete karaicha asta...
prem hey prem asta tuje anni maje kai, "pahila tuch" asta...

Macro level var mi hey premache khel bhagat aste...
sarva kahi kiti chan anni sundar vatat asta...
majha koni nasla tari... sarva aplech ase vatat asta...
aatun jiv pide ni tadphadat aste pan baher hasun dakvayche asta
jagacha pathi kuthehi gele tari tujhi athvan kadycha asta.....
prem hey prem asta tuje anni maje kai AKKI sagryancha same to same asta :P

being loving is being true to urself.....

That which is a part of me, will never leave me; it will come back to me.
But what is not will not stay around, it will linger and than fade away.

What is a part of me is my true self, my other half, my soulmate and my love
What is not, is mere attraction, fake; an illusion created by self, the maya...

That which is a part of me will add meaning to my life and make it complete.
That is not; will question my exsistance; it will drift me away to wonder on life's lack of lustre

Once can truly love when one is being true to the feel which is within,
being able to connect with the inner self is real, rest all is surreal.

If this makes any sense to you than mate we seem to have connect, if not than its just another page from this sweet devils diary.
:)

dilse....

The other day i was at a coffee shop with my frd

and we came across a table where we saw and guy

and a gal along with their families engaging...

a kande pohe program to be precise, to my non

maharastrian readers....indian traditional dating

where even parents accompany the dating

individuals.


It was amusing at first site...but later it

occur ed to us that both the gal and the guy were

very uncomfortable... she looked very nervous and

the guy was trying his best to keep his wits in

place and act nice.... It was such a sorry plight.

I find this arrangement amusing....i mean why dont

parents understand that these two are grown up

individuals and let them decide for themselves if

they have found their companion...


"Marriage is institution, sacred, holistic...its

made in heaven..its meeting of two souls, another

definition to it...its meeting of two families...


who should one place first....yourself, your family or the society...

If you are compromising your aspirations keeping the family and society interest first are you really contend with it??? Are you willing to play along for a lifetime?? A price you are willing to pay just to be align with the rest...

I really appreciate couples who have gone lenghts to ensure their relationship worksout even if it meant making sacrifices and adjustments...

However I would prefer relationships to be maintained effortlessly something that my frd at work mentioned... how true. Why get into something for the heck of it...life will be more blissful if there is a proper understanding and connection between the two...


I know I am strong headed and confident and but at times i do feel the need for someone's comfort, who is understanding and caring...

you are surrounded by a sea of people love you for what you are but you still long for those strong arms which will embrace you and in his arms, you wish to forget everything and heal your heart....I dont know whether every women thinks like that or is it just my need for the hour....

when I am my own companion, I fantasise a blur image where i find the guy of my dreams holding me in his arms and i can feel the sense of securedness,the comfort, the sheer contentment of knowing somebody is there standing by me, who loves me and would never let me down....

but I guess you only find such guys in your wildest fantasy...or love itself is a fantasy and the joy ride just ended....

I am tired of saying to self "get practical gal, what u r looking for is probably no

more there in this world or probably not meant for me."

I am content with my life but if only i did had a chance to experience the true love...i did end it well. My mind is stupid in spite of being unlucky in love I am still counting my chances....I have hope and that is wat keeps me going....Life at this stage is so uncertain, it sometimes scares me to think what if I dont really ever get to see that day....but i m willing to risk it, Not to comprise I rather stick to my choice.....so where are you my sunshine.....its about time you rise and shine on me....truly, madly and deeply......

new begning 2010...

Calenders are for careful person not passionate ones......

so rightly stated...(yes you will find me saying that at 40 too :))

As we see the days, months and now the year 2009 pass by....
many of us would hear or will be found saying wow time just flies. The last day of 2009 will not be any different from the first day of 2010...the sun will rise and shine, flowers will blossom and year trains will run as per schedule!

Life will remain the same..... What will surely change is the way we look at life once again with renewed passion, setting our goals with timelines and then begin our rush to achieve them. Dekhte hi Dekhte 2010 will go by too. In our rush, we tend to overlook our near and dear ones who contribute to our life in one way or the other...

The say life is a Drama and everybody has a role to play and no matter how insignificant it may seem, it can change the whole climax. People come into your lives and leave their trail. Some cling along while some breakaway in the middle., but the journey of life continues....

My many many thanks to all those who made my life worthwhile... yes you added value and touched my life.Thank you for helping me get my passion back every year...

I Wish and Pray that the year 2010 will endow you and your dear ones with happiness, Prosperity and Good Health.

Have a happy beginning to 2010.